The month of April brings spring, and with that comes spring cleaning. While you’re spring cleaning your house, don’t forget to spruce up your mind too. What better time because April is stress awareness month. Wait though, before I lose you because you think I’m going to tell you to book a spa day – I’m not! I’m going to tell you how to destress in 3 minutes.
When we think of de-stressing, we think of self-care. That often leads us down the path of face masks, spas and luxury treatments. Let’s be realistic, when was the last time you were even able to pee in peace, let alone have a spa day? Think quality over quantity here, let me introduce to you micro breaks. This is the art of finding peace in the gaps we have throughout the day. It can be as quick as 60 seconds if that works for you.
1. Reaching boiling point
There’s one thing that’s a cert in homes up and down the country. It’s one of the first things I do in the morning, it’s sticking the kettle on of course. If you’ve got a fancy boiling water tap then this isn’t the one for you, but if you have a kettle, it’s right up your street. I know you’re most likely trying to find missing school shoes, organise packed lunches and convince children they can’t wear a superhero costume to school. However, let’s try to make those brief few minutes when the kettle is boiling all about us. Once you’ve flicked the switch, put the phone down. This de-stressing micro break is screen free!
Try to focus your senses. Either close your eyes and focus on the sound of the water. Hear it as it starts to get louder and louder and begin to bubble. Or look out the window, looking at patterns in nature, like trees or clouds, can reduce cortisol levels in under a minute.
Focus on taking 3 slow, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. By the time you hear the click of the kettle you aren’t just getting one step closer to a cuppa, but you have reminded your nervous system that you are safe and in control.
2. Time to countdown
I know i’m always counting backwards from 5 in some way to get my kids to speed up. Did you know there’s a really useful way you can use it for yourself too? It’s called the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. This is more an emergency micro break rather than planning them into your day. It’s generally when you feel that sensory overload because you have a kid pulling at each leg, the dog wants to go out and the washing machine is beeping.
This technique is a sensory circuit breaker that will pull you away from your anxious thoughts and into the present moment. Here’s what to do.
5 things you can see: Look around you for 5 things you can see. Yes, it may well be the stray lego brick on the floor or the grubby fingerprints on the wall. Try to list them off in your head.
4 things you can touch: Focus on 4 things you can feel. The ground under your feet, the fabric of your clothes.
3 things you can hear: Really listen to what’s going on around you, can you hear birds singing outside, the kids playing in the next room?
2 things you can smell: I appreciate if you have kids, the things you can smell may not always be the nicest. 🤣 If you are doing this as you’re making your cuppa of your coffee, sniff the whiff.
1 thing you can taste: Hopefully it’s not the taste of morning breath, perhaps the lingering flavour of toothpaste.
By the time you get to the end your brain will have forgotten about the what-if’s and to-do list. The great thing is you can do it anywhere and nobody needs to even know you’re doing it!
3. Garden gulp
Most of us have heard that being outdoors is good for us. The majority of us don’t have a forest at the bottom of the garden. Adding a walk to your list of things to do, but you will feel better for it. If you do have a garden, then get yourself a bite size piece of nature that requires no hiking! Don’t wait for the sunshine to be out, or you’ll be like a tightly wound coil until June.
If things feel too much, just step outside for a couple of minutes. Take 5 deep breaths of the outside air. If it’s cold, even better – just put your coat on first. If it’s raining just enjoy the smell of rain on dry earth (petrichor) it has been shown to have a calming effect. The Remember earlier I mentioned how (fractal) patterns in nature can help us regulate. Look for them when you step out into the garden. Pick up a leaf and look at the detail, or the way the wind moves the grass.
For me personally, I have found it really useful to go into the garden when the kids are in bed. Put my phone away and look up at the stars for a few minutes. The cooler air is refreshing, and I feel so much more relaxed when I go back in. Even if the local hedgehog has made an appearance and I have had to shoo the dog back in.
Ever heard of a driveway decompress? If your school run is anything like mine in the morning, you need a couple of minutes to yourself. I usually do it as soon as I get back in the car and do some box breathing. It lessens the likelihood of my road rage landing me prison time. Seriously though, as Mothers it can seem like we are always rushing from one place to the next. Taking these couple of minutes to yourself for a micro break can really help.
Don’t have a garden? No worries, get yourself some houseplants. Research suggests even indoor nature can help reduce blood pressure. Bring the outside in!
4. Digital declutter
When we think of clutter, we think of the piles of shoes in the hallway, or the pile of things on the worktop that we don’t know where to put. The most stressful clutter is probably the one in our hand or pocket. If you are anything like me you live with your phone in your hand or next to you at all times. They’re meant to make our life easier, but when you have the class whatsapp pinging, social media and emails, it can seem like a constant distraction. I have fallen down the ‘Scroll hole’ far too many times.
I’m not saying go for a full digital detox, that’s completely unrealistic. The theme of this article is micro breaks, so let’s look at doing some digital ones.
Mute it: If the class WhatsApp group is chiming more than Big Ben at 12 o’clock, mute the chat. You don’t need to know if Jessica has lost her cardigan. Even if you only mute it for an hour to give yourself a break, it can help. Just remember to unmute it in the morning if you rely on it for PE kit reminders.
Cleanse it: Have a look through your following list on social media. If there is an account that makes you feel like you aren’t enough, click the unfollow button. Your feed should be a source of support and inspiration not an invitation to judge yourself.
Stash it: Try to put your phone up on the shelf for 15 minutes when the kids get home, so you have one less thing buzzing in your ear. Instead of that you could try 15 minutes before bed to avoid the doom scroll.
Destress with the kids
As Mothers we often struggle to get a minute to ourselves. Going for a pee results in someone knocking at the door, or a teenager asking for their football socks. So why not involve the kids and teach them how to regulate themselves too.
Sound collectors: If you have little ones, consider playing a game where you set a timer for 60 seconds and you lie down and close your eyes. When the timer goes off you have to see how many things you can list that you heard.
Blow it all away: Place a piece of tissue on the floor and get the kids to see who can blow on it to make it move without blowing it away. This will force you all to take those slow deep breaths that help destress and regulate your system again.
Sofa squish: If everyone is feeling a bit frazzled, bundle everyone on the sofa for a sofa squish with a duvet. No screens, just talking or reading. The weight of the duvet will help act as a weighted blanket, and help calm everyone down.
How to destress in 3 minutes
As stress awareness month comes to end, remember your worth as a Mother is not based on how much you can endure before breaking. Self care doesn’t require a dressing down and eye mask, it lives in the few minutes it takes the kettle to boil, the sixty seconds in the garden, or a sofa squish. Try adding these micro breaks into your day, especially when your stress levels feel high.
You are doing a great job mama. Now go and put the kettle on, you’ve earned it! What’s biscuit are you teaming up with your cuppa?
