Let’s be real, “sleeping like a baby” was a phrase definitely said by someone who didn’t have a baby! Between the midnight feedings, the toddler gymnastics in your ribs, and the mental load that decides to switch on at 3am, sleep feels more like a luxury than a biological necessity. But it doesn’t have to be a distant memory. Getting a good night’s sleep for yourself is just as important as getting your little one to sleep through the night. We’re going to find out how to get a better night’s sleep for ALL of you.
Priya Patel is a certified Infant Sleep Consultant (OCN-accredited), an experienced Early Years Teacher, and the founder of The Little People Sleep Consultant. Having navigated the “sleepless trenches” herself as a mum of two boys, she understands the physical and emotional toll of sleep deprivation on the whole family. Combining her professional background in education with gentle, evidence-based sleep science, she helps parents move away from “survival mode” and into a place of calm and confidence. Priya is passionate about providing compassionate, judgment-free support that helps everyone in the house finally get the restorative rest they deserve. As well as her website, you can also find her on Instagram.
You’ve made it through the day. A full day of solo parenting, the nursery or school run, the snacks, the negotiations over dinner, the “just one more episode” standoff. And now it’s bedtime — and somehow, this is the hardest part.
If you’re a mum heading back to work, running on broken sleep and desperately searching online for “how to get my child to sleep through the night,” you are absolutely not alone. Bedtime battles are one of the most common struggles I hear about — and the good news? A consistent bedtime routine can genuinely be a game-changer. Here’s everything you need to know. No fluff, no impossible standards, just real, practical advice that works for real families.
Why a bedtime routine actually matters
A good bedtime routine isn’t about being a perfect parent. It’s about giving your child’s brain a reliable signal: sleep is coming. Babies, toddlers and young children thrive on predictability. When they know what’s coming next, anxiety drops, resistance drops, and — eventually — so do their eyelids. A consistent routine also supports their natural body clock, making it easier for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. Good sleep improves behaviour, mood, learning and development. It also gives you your evenings back, which — let’s be honest — would be nice to have.
What a good bedtime routine looks like
A solid routine typically runs around 30 minutes and is made up of calm, winding-down activities. Think of it as a gradual dimmer switch rather than a sudden off button.
A typical routine might include:
– A warm bath. This naturally has a calming effect. That said, it doesn’t have to happen every night — and it doesn’t have to happen at bedtime (more on that below).
– Calm play, a gentle massage, or quiet connection time. This bridges the gap between a busy day and sleep, and gives your child a chance to feel close to you before settling down.
– Story time. This is the non-negotiable for me. Reading together is brilliant for bonding, brilliant for development. It helps your child wind down in a gentle, screen-free way. Age doesn’t matter — newborns, babies, toddlers and school-age children all benefit from it.
The golden rule? Consistency. It doesn’t have to be perfect every single night, but keeping the same sequence of steps helps your child’s brain learn the pattern. Within a few weeks, their body will start preparing for sleep before they’ve even got into bed.
It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s routine
One of the biggest myths about bedtime routines is that there’s one right way to do it. There isn’t. Some families swear by a bath every night. Others do it every other night, or straight after school, because their child gets too stimulated in the tub to settle afterwards. Both are completely fine.
Some children are triggered by hair brushing or teeth cleaning close to bedtime. If that’s yours, simply move those tasks earlier. Done after dinner is still done. A small meltdown avoided at 7pm is worth its weight in gold.
The aim is a routine that your child can predict and your family can actually sustain — especially on those days when you’re back from work, dinner ran late, and everything feels a little wobbly.
Bedtime starts earlier than you think
Here’s something that surprises a lot of parents: a good night’s sleep actually starts in the morning.
Try to keep a consistent wake time, even at weekends. This protects your child’s body clock and makes bedtime resistance much easier to manage. A predictable start to the day creates a predictable end to it.
It’s also worth thinking about the sleep environment. Before you even begin the routine, the room should be doing some of the work for you:
– Blackout blinds are a brilliant investment, especially in summer when it stays light late and mornings get bright early.
– Room temperature between 16–20°C is ideal for safe, comfortable sleep.
– A soft comforter (for children over 12 months) gives your little person something to cuddle when they wake in the night, and can make a real difference to how quickly they settle back off.
What to do when everything goes wrong
Some days, daytime naps go badly. Everything feels like a rollercoaster from 4pm. Someone has a meltdown over the wrong colour cup. By the time bedtime comes around, your child is overtired and wired at the same time — and you’re done. Here’s what actually helps:
– The bridging nap. A short 10 to 15-minute nap in the late afternoon can take the edge off overtiredness without pushing bedtime too late. Set a timer and be strict — any longer than 15 minutes can backfire and make bedtime even harder.
– An early bedtime. This sounds counterintuitive, but moving bedtime to 6pm or 6:30pm when your child is overtired is often more effective than sticking rigidly to 7pm. An overtired child who’s been pushed past their window is much harder to settle than one who goes down slightly earlier.
What about screens?
The standard advice is no screens for an hour before bed. In an ideal world, yes. In the real world — especially when you’re managing multiple children and a post-work evening rush — a brief period of calm TV can actually help. The key word is calm. A quiet show, rather than a fast-paced game or anything overly stimulating. It can help some children regulate after a big day. Keep it to 20 to 30 minutes, turn on the blue light filter if you can. Make sure it finishes before the proper wind-down begins.
Don’t let guilt about screen time add stress to an already stressful hour. The goal is a regulated, calm child heading into their bedtime routine — however you get there.
Keep it simple. Keep it consistent.
You don’t need a Pinterest-perfect bedtime routine. You need one that works for your family and that you can stick to, even on the hard days. Start small. Pick two or three calming activities and do them in the same order each night for a week. Then build from there. Small, consistent changes create big, lasting results. Within a few weeks, you might just find that bedtime stops being the thing you dread most.
You’ve got this.
Priya x
If sleep is still feeling hard, that’s ok — it often needs more than a blog post to unpick. I’m here if you need me. www.thelittlepeoplesleepconsultant.co.uk
