Guest blog post author Louise, is going to share her experiences of whether having a village is important for raising children. Louise is a working Mum with 3 little girls. She runs a podcast called Mums, work & chaos. The podcast is now on season 3, with new episodes released on Fridays.
The simple answer is yes, having a village is important for Mums.
I started the podcast in February 2023 in response to the age-old saying ‘It takes a village to raise a child’, but what is the village? The term village is often used to represent the collective support and community that surrounds and assists a Mother in raising her child.
The demands placed on mothers have grown exponentially. This has resulted in a significant change in expectations of what a village looks like. With this in mind, I launched the podcast with a clear mission. A place to establish a secure and non-judgemental space. It allows mothers to freely delve into topics that directly affect them. I cover issues such as post birth body image and identity and managing the mental load. Also advice on approaching employers for flexible work arrangements. It also looks at the funnier side of motherhood. There are a number of ways to listen to Mums, work and chaos. You can also check out the instagram page.
What is a village for Mums?
Firstly, I’d like to give you a little history when it comes to the “village” of the past. When our grandparents were raising families it wasn’t uncommon for women to stop working as soon as they got married. Thus leaving them to join their rightful place in society as the “mother and homemaker”.
Young married couples tended to stay close to their families. Sometimes they would take elderly parents into their homes. Slowly growing into multi-generational households with multiple familial support structures. This was their village.
During the 80s, women were encouraged to rejoin the workforce after having their children. This was to help bolster the post-apocalyptic economy of the 70’s. This caused outgoings to rise with increased childcare costs. Women were left to work like they didn’t have children and raise children like they didn’t work. This change in culture saw the village concept change.
Millennial parents have found themselves moving away from family due to university or because housing isn’t affordable. This has left them isolated, relying more and more on friends and childcare for support. Their concept of a village was different to that of the past.
You may have come across one of the many “Millennials searching for the village” reels while doom-scrolling to your heart’s content on Instagram or TikTok. You’ve probably been left feeling even more alone once the reel with no solutions has finished playing. Well, I’m here to help!
Why is having a village important for Mums?
Being a Mum is hard! There is so much to balance and juggle. Sometimes we need support. Whether that’s family, friends or some other support system, to help lessen the load.
Mums who feel supported are less likely to feel anxious, have depression or feel stressed and lonely. That’s got to be better for everyone, right?
It can be useful to sound things out to others, especially those with similar experiences.
For modern women, it can feel like there is little support. People are afraid to admit any sign of what they deem as weakness. They feel they may be looked down upon. Social media also likes to portray perfect lifestyles, adding more pressure to maintain this problem free existence. Surrounding yourself with others can help you to see that you aren’t alone.
How do I find my village?
There can be a number of ways to find your village. You can start simply by changing who you follow on social media. Give up following accounts who portray a perfect lifestyle. Look through accounts with realism and a more realistic portrayal of life as a Mum.
Listen to podcasts such as Mums, work and chaos. The goal of which is to foster a community where mothers can explore, learn, and connect. Ultimately helping them navigate the challenges of motherhood with confidence and resilience.
Although it can seem like family thinks they know best, they are often offering advice with the best intentions. Even if you don’t live close to your family reach out to them for support when needed.
Friends can be a great source of support. Mum friends can help support with issues relating to children. Other friends can help support you as a person and maintain that identity. If you are in a good place mentally, you are much more likely to make better parenting decisions.
Finding and having a village for Mums, can definitely be an important support network. Not only can it help shape the person your child becomes, but also the mother you are.
If you want some tips on making Mum friends you can read this article here! You can also join our Mum Vibes village on Facebook. A great safe place, to make new friends, gain support and get and share advice.
If you would be interested in writing a guest blog post email us hello@mumvibes.com
